Monday, December 27, 2010

BOOK REVIEW UPDATE

So far, WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO? has only one review on amazon.com.  Part of the problem may be that I thought you had to have purchased the book on Amazon, which a number of you didn't, and that they made you jump through hoops to identify yourself as an Amazon customer.  I told people this.  The problem is, it isn't true. You could have bought the book anywhere, or had it purchased for you as a gift, and still be able to write a review on Amazon.

Which I would be most grateful if some of you would do. If you loved it, say so; if you thought it was a joke,  or utterly vulgar and without redeeming merit, say that.  I think you can even use a made-up name.  Anyway, that's the scoop, and I just wanted to pass it along.

                                                                                                              

Monday, December 6, 2010

Books-A-Million Update

Dec. 6, 2010.  Further checking with BAM  finally produced the papers I needed to fill out and sign in order to get my book in the local store. So I read them over, and there was a clause that said the price of the book has to be printed on the back cover. Okayyyyy. Small glitch.  Which means, I guess, that BAM won't be carrying my book locally.  Stay tuned.

Monday, November 22, 2010

FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS

On amazon.com you can now read selected pages of "WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO?" to check it out if you're thinking of buying and can't find a review. (That's because there are none yet, folks. Why, I don't know, unless the procedure to write one is made too difficult for most people to mess with. You had to have purchased the book on Amazon to write a review.)  You can see the back page and read the whole first chapter.

Also, I am told that the Daviess County Public Library will be purchasing the book soon. So, for those of you too poor, thrifty, generally shiftless, lazy, or otherwise disinclined to plunk down hard plastic, you'll be able to check it out for free.  I seldom buy fiction books, myself. I buy books on art, physics, and stuff like that which can be used as reference or is too dense to read and understand in one go.  But the reason YOU should buy "WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO" is that you'll probably want to read it again and again.  It can also be used as a handy doorstop, or to whop would-be intruders in the head. So it is a multi-use item.

As of Nov. 30, Books-A-Million is carrying MOTHER online.  There is a good possibility that it may soon be available in the Owensboro store.

There is now a review of MOTHER on amazon.com, written by a Mr. Tony Delwin,who gave the book 4 stars out of a possible 5.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

THIS JUST IN

"WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO?" is now available through Barnes and Noble at the discounted price of $10.79.  Not to be outdone, Amazon has now matched that price. However, the author (moi) still gets the same royalty as before, which is cool.  A couple of outlets public libraries order their books from are also now stocking WAMTO. So it may soon be available at a library near you.  But I wouldn't hold my breath.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Messenger-Inquirer Article Published

On Monday, November 8, 2010, The Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer published an article about me and my novel in Suzi Bartholomy's Region section column, Road Trips. In the print version it was headlined NOVEL APPROACH -- Eaton Publishes Second Book, while the online article, which was identical in every other respect, was titled (more interestingly, I thought) "Eaton's bawdy book gets wife's approval."


The article was professional and accurate, detailing my career (or lack thereof) as a writer.  It revealed one piece of information lots of my friends didn't know, that I once wrote for the romance/confessions market, which prints stories of overwrought emotional content on subjects ranging from illicit romance to other more mundane life problems. These are presented as being true, and perhaps they are nowadays, but when I was impressing female editors by pretending to be a lady writer, the magazines often had "how-to" articles in Writers Digest and other writer's publications. They weren't all made up out of the whole cloth--well, a few of mine were--but the "truth" that was present was probably no more prominent than existed in most fiction stories.  Which is to say, most fiction is based on something, some germ of truth, however tiny. These stories were written in the first person, from a female viewpoint. At first I struggled with this. What did I know about the way women thought or felt deep inside? (I was younger then.)  But my older sister Benita, who was practically making a living writing confessions,  gave me courage.  Her females talked like truck drivers. As, in fact, most women really do. So I cut off the frills and wrote the same way I would have had I been writing about men.  It worked.

The MI article received a good deal of attention on Facebook, where many of my friends had read it, and proceeded to comment on it.  I also got a few phone calls.  But I didn't know I was actually getting my fifteen minutes of fame until a mail carrier came to my door with a package.  I had never seen the man before.  As he handed over the package, he smiled and said,  "Nice article!

And indeed it was.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

NEWS AND UPDATES

PAYPAL UP AND RUNNING

Several orders have been processed now through PayPal, so I know it is up and running OK. This site is also now a Certified PayPal user.  PayPal is one of the main advantages to ordering from this site. A lot of people love PayPal and feel safer using it.  Amazon and CreateSpace do not take PayPal--UNLESS you have a PayPal credit card, which functions as a debit card and offers the same advantages as regular PP.

The other advantage to ordering from this blog are, if you live out of town and want an autographed copy of the book, you can order here using PayPal and get the book direct from me. At present this is a little slower, but soon we hope the difference will be very slight.

AUTHOR INTERVIEWED BY HOMETOWN NEWSPAPER

On Wednesday, November 3, I was interviewed by Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer writer/columnist Suzi Bartholomy and a photographer named Jenny, who took multiple photos and also asked a few questions.  The resulting article is due to be published Monday, November 8.  I found Suzi and Jenny pleasant to talk to, and very professional.  They made the whole experience a  lot of fun.

SALES OF BOOK PICKING UP 

After a slow start, sales of  WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO? have become somewhat more brisk. It still isn't flying off the shelves, but a slighter higher gear has been found. As we learn more about getting the novel into bookstores and libraries, and how to be more effective in promotion, it should  begin to take off even more. Thanks to everyone who has honored me by buying  copy! I hope you won't be disappointed!

BOOK SIGNINGS  

I have been asked if there will be a book signing, or signings, in the future.  I'm hoping there will be enough interest to make this a possibility. I'll keep you posted.

WILL THERE BE A SEQUEL? 
Again, this depends on how well this book does.  If there's enough interest -- yes.  In fact, I am hoping for a series. All of these novels would have Mother in the title, just as Sue Grafton uses the alphabet, as in D is for (whatever).  Janet Evanovich uses numbers: One For The Money, Two For the Show, Three to get Deadly, and so on. John Sanford has the word Prey in most of his titles. Mother (my private eye's nickname) seemed a good way to go. My next title is going to be  MOTHER LOVER.  After that, there are many possibilities.

COMMENTS

You will need an ID number to post a comment. If you have a Google account, use that number. (If you don't, get one. It's free and it comes in handy!) I would appreciate your comments on the blog, the book, me personally, or even my hat if you're so inclined. However, my hat has a blog of his own: travelsofthehat.blogspot.com
You might find it amusing.  My hat, Cosmo Hatt, is my number one supporter. He has a review on the back of my novel! (He loved it, of course!)  This is the kind of humor I hope you will find in WHAT'S  A MOTHER TO DO?

REVIEWS

I hope, when you read my book, that you will take the time to write a brief review on amazon. com.  Come down the page from the book's picture, and you'll see a box marked Write a Review. You should be able to do this whether you buy it through Amazon or not. This would be very helpful, and I would appreciate it.

 
Official PayPal Seal

Monday, November 1, 2010

NEW WAYS TO ORDER

My novel,  WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO? has until recently been available only through amazon.com. Now there are a couple of new (and easier) ways to order, and within 6 weeks, hopefully, there may be more still.  I'm hoping to get the book into bookstores across the country, and also public libraries.  But don't hold your breath on either of those. At present, the book has had practically no publicity and no reviews--it is new on the market, and I'm still learning--so it don't get no respect.  Yet.

TWO EASIER WAYS TO ORDER

If you go through amazon.com, you may have trouble finding the book. It's not that hard, but it's not dead-easy. Click on  https://www.createspace.com/3493166 

You will go directly to the book, without hassle, and will be treated with a brief description of its contents. Then add it to your cart--it's that easy.  BUT WAIT!  THERE'S MORE!

If you live somewhere besides Owensboro (and doesn't almost everyone) I can order the book for you. I will autograph it and ship it to you at the same price you'd pay through Amazon. IMAGINE! YOUR VERY OWN AUTOGRAPHED COPY!  hahaha Then comes the bad part. You gotta pay for it! I'm in the process of setting up Paypal, which is an old reliable standard for online buying. Watch this space. As soon as Paypal is set up, I'll let you know. Shouldn't be long.

AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!  How incredibly easy can life get?

Nov. 2, 2010.  THIS JUST IN!  I think I'm set up on Paypal now. I'm still a little confused about how it works. I think what you'd do, if you order thru this site with Paypal, have the book shipped to me, and I will autograph it and send it to you, postage paid. Yeah, that's the ticket! That oughta work!!



Dang, if it were any easier, I could probably do it!



Wednesday, October 27, 2010

AN EXCERPT FROM "WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO?"

“Arnie Maroon,”  I said.
    He stared at me across his antique mahogany desk, which was the size of a small boxcar and shiny enough to count your nose hairs in.  He was easily the richest lawyer in Owensboro, a smug red-faced carp of a man whose incompetence was exceeded only by his bravado.  He didn’t like me.  The feeling was wildly mutual.
    “What do you want, Harley?”  His voice dripped rudeness.
    “We have a mutual client,”  I said.
    “I hire my own investigators.”
    “The client hired me.”
    “Piffle.”  He dismissed me with a shooing motion of his pudgy hands.  “Get out of my office, birdbath.  You’ve failed at everything you’ve ever tried.  As a priest, a marine, a cop, a husband---”
    I felt my face go crimson.  “How tall are you, Arnie?”
    He sputtered an answer that sounded like five-nine, visibly alarmed and backpedaling as I leaned over and got in his face.  “What’s it to you?”
    “Nothing.”  I straightened up and grinned.  “I didn’t know they stacked shit that high, is all.”
    “HEY!”
    I flipped my cell open as Maroon whirled and tried to run up the back wall.
    “Yo,”  I said.
    “You ain’t gonna believe this.”  It was Hammer.
    “Try me,”  I sighed, keeping an eye on Arnie, who had gone to a sideboard to pour himself a stiff one.
    No wonder his nose was so red.
    “Someone just took a shot at us.”
    I could tell by the background noise that he was in his pick-up, an ancient black Chevy that had begun to look retro stylish in a ramshackle sort of way.
    “Where are you.”
    “Headin’ west on Third.  We was about even with Sunlite Music when they opened up.  They only got off one shot.”
    “Everyone OK?”
    “Yeah, the bullet must’ve passed through both open windows.  It buzzed like a bee.  April’s still pawin’ the floorboard.”
    “Did you---”
    “Return fire?  You betcha.  I retched behind the seat and found myself an old Thompson.  I whipped the wheel around and got off dang near a whole clip at ‘em.  Hot damn, was them boys surprised.”
    “You had---you had a tommy gun behind the seat?”
    Maroon turned toward me with faint interest.
    “Haw!  You shoulda seen it, boss!  They was toolin’ around in a black Lincoln, still are, although they’re probably dang near to Lewisport by now.  They goosed that son-of-a-gun.  It’s pretty much a convertible now, so it’s probably kind of air-ish.  Most of the top’s layin’ in the middle of Third Street.”
    “You didn’t hit anybody?”
    “Naw.  I had to one-hand it while I steered.  Ever try one-handing a Thompson?”
    Shuddering, I called up a mental picture of the neighborhood.  Only partly residential, with several vacant lots.  With any luck nobody had been killed.
    “See any cops?”
    “Never even heard a siren.  Course, we high-tailed it, too.”
    Where are you now?”
    “You’re breaking up.”
    Right.  Hammer was heading for, or already at, an undisclosed location.  He would undoubtedly now do his best to soothe a thoroughly shaken client.  Some guys have all the luck.
    “Now,”  I said, pocketing the phone.  “Where were we?”
    Arnie Maroon swallowed about six ounces of Jack Daniels and attempted a grin.
    “You were asking for information on a mutual client,”  he said.  “I assume you were fishing for whatever I might have in the way of physical evidence.”
    “Well, yes.”  He was making way too much sense.  Had to be the booze.
    “I have her skirt and blouse.  You’re welcome to them.  The police lab went over them with a fine-toothed hair, I mean, comb.  They found a hair on the blouse belonging to Mr. Randall.  The hair, not the blouse.  “  He looked slightly confused, which was normal for him.  “Nothing on the skirt.  She wasn’t wearing a bra, and they couldn’t find her shoes.  They kept the torn thong for further examination.  I think they got one of them crime-sniffing dogs.  Maybe he’ll nose out something.”
    “They didn’t find her shoes?  Isn’t that a little odd?”
    Maroon’s office was starting to get on my nerves.  Too much dark paneling, intricate crown molding, and soft carpet, and too many shiny law books that looked never to have been touched, let alone read.
    He shrugged.  “Young women nowadays.  Here, look at the skirt.”
    He tossed me a pale blue handful of cloth, a micro-mini designed not to cover much of anything.  “Maybe she was barefooting it.  I dunno.”
    “So, aside from the thong, there’s very little evidence.”
    “None.  Zippo.  Her word against his.”
    So why was Jelly worried?  And he did seem worried.
    “You’ve seen the thong?”  I asked, glancing at my watch.  Three o’clock.  It had been a long day.
    I didn’t know where my client was, but Buddy Omaha had demonstrated an ability to find her, which bothered me.  I didn’t have a clue about Jelly’s situation, I was worried about a gangster who wanted me dead, and in a little while I was going home to God knew what.  Would Mavis even be there?  And my dad, bless him,  was probably going to need my help soon, if I could track him down.  It was hotter than hell outside, even for Kentucky in mid-June.  I was tired, make that exhausted.  I hoped there was some lemonade in the fridge.
    “Thong?”  Maroon looked blank.  “Oh, the panty thing?  Yes, yes I have.”  His expression turned grave.
    “And.”
    “Not much to see.  Wispy.  See-through.  Seemore undies.”
    “Any guess on how the thong got torn?”
    “The question is not how but who,” Maroon said.  “They got torn coming off the lady too hastily, that much is obvious.  But, was it her haste or Mr. Randall’s?”
    The question hit the nail so squarely on the head that it stunned us both.  I probably looked surprised.
    Arnie Maroon looked very surprised, as the liquor chose that exact moment to hit him.  Then he passed out, sprawled face down across his mahogany desk.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

NOVEL IS ON AMAZON

My novel, "What's a Mother to Do" is for sale at amazon.com at a cost of $14.99 plus shipping. Is is what is called a trade paperback, which is larger than a regular paperback.



 The novel takes place in Owensboro, Kentucky, the author's hometown.  It concerns the adventures of private eye Frank Harley, who is often referred to by his family, friends, and associates as Mother, or Big Mother.  A target of bullies in grade school, Frank had a sudden growth sport, and suddenly his tormentors couldn't whip him anymore. Frank settled a few scores, and then went on to protect other kids, regularly teaching the bully boys a lesson.  One of them, who came to be known as Buddy Omaha, went on to become a major crime figure who never forgot nor forgave Frank for humiliating him. There was no question that he would someday try to kill Frank--the only question was when.

Frank, along with his brother Hank, owns Big Guy Investigations.  He started the agency shortly after being thrown off the police force, for drawing a naked picture of a female officer. Franks draws pin-ups, and is very good at it.  It tends to get him in trouble.  For one thing, his wife Mavis, a lipstick lesbian, likes his drawings of nude women a shade too much. She often finds out who the model is and looks her up.

In "What's A Mother to Do," Frank is hired by stripper Autumn Wicker to protect her from a man who thinks she cheated him out of money.  The man turns out to be Frank's old nemesis, Buddy Omaha.

Frank's dad, the Rev. Edmund F. Harley, is a preacher who owns a big non-denominational church that routinely draws huge crowds--some view its services as entertainment--and brings in tons of cash.  The Rev. Harley has a taste for the finer things, like booze and large-breasted women, and has a history of taking "vacations" with buxom married women.  He's gotten away with this for years, but when he runs off to Vegas with Gladys Horsefellow, her huge Native American husband Gary is less than amused.  Finding his dad and protecting him from a grisly death is a challenge Frank would as soon not face, but he has little choice.

Then there is Frank's former squad-car partner, soon to be ex-policeman Tristan "Jellybean" Randall, who needs Frank's help in fending off a bogus rape charge.

Frank's main operative, known only as Hammer, is a ex-con who is a major loose cannon, a man with a flair for magic who can pull a quarter from your nose or a .44 Magnum from thin air.  And Frank's receptionist-secretary, Sherry, a temp he is afraid to let go, claims to be 19, but nobody believes her. She would like very much to seduce Frank, and he's dead-certain she's jailbait.

The cop who got Frank kicked off the force, Richard Johnson, is laying for Frank, whom he's known and disliked since childhood.

Frank is deeply in love with his wife, Mavis, and has tolerated some of her lesbian affairs, but there is a limit to how much he can take, which she's forever on the verge of exceeding.

All in all, Frank has a lot on his plate.  Just staying alive may prove to be a major problem.

This book is highly recommended by the author's friend and compatriot, Cosmo Hatt. (See travelsofthehat.blogspot.com.)  Cosmo thinks it's the best book he's ever read, or perhaps ever will read.  And Cosmo reads a lot, for a hat.